It can make you sick. It can make you wonder about that new tattoo. It can blur your common sense around 2 am. But the worst thing, the very worst thing it can do is lead to false teeth. And no matter how much alcohol you drink the rest of your life to forget, you still got fake teeth.

Alcohol causes dehydration and dry mouth. Heavy duty partiers don’t think at 12.30AM, “Hey I’m so thirsty I’m gonna get some water.” No they think they need another drink to cure the dry mouth. This kind of thinking leads to more dry mouth, more drinking and years later, fake teeth.

What happens while you’re having all this amazing fun is that the saliva flow in your mouth is reduced over time, which can lead to tooth decay and other oral infections such as gum disease.

Saliva isn’t just spit sitting in your mouth waiting to be swallowed. Without getting too technical it has many important functions including antimicrobial activity, mechanical cleansing action, control of pH, removal of food debris from your teeth, lubrication of your mouth, teeth and gum, plus it keeps the liquid in your mouth at the right consistency – consistency required for healthy teeth. All ruined by alcohol.

So the obvious solution is to uh, well, do drink water when you get thirsty from drinking too much. Or better, but unlikely, switch to Perrier and lime. Well, no, not lime. There’s bad news about that too. But that’s for later.